You're not the only one. I've learned to drop friends who abuse me in some way very quickly. I'm too old to put up with drama. The friends who do tend to "turn against me" are those who can't stand my opinions. I've gotten to the point where if we can't agree to disagree and arguments become abusive or over the top then maybe we should go our separate ways. I actually have three instances of this, my other friends understand me and love me for who I am and not who they think I should be. I'm ranting really, you don't have to read all of this XD!

Ex-friend 1: was a childhood friend of mine. She moved away ,we kept in touch. When college came around she became very distant. About three years ago we started talking again. I defended a friend of mine that she openly insulted and an argument ensued about me liking yaoi, gay marriage, making up rules about Mary Sues etc.......it was really weird and I just blocked her and ended up not thinking anymore about it. The next week I peek at her journal and she accuses me of copying her. The funny thing is after years of exchanging art she takes the opportunity to say I'm "copying" her when she's pissed off at me. K, whatever, anyone who knows me knows I strive for originality. The character she said I copied from her was one that I had abandoned a long time ago That's all she could do really and she had nothing to back her up. I just let it go and let her sit in her own hatred and lies. Recently, she's blacklisted me on one of Gaia shops...for no reason. I haven't even talked to her in three years.


Ex-friend #2: Was another childhood friend of mine. When we were younger she was a little mean and when I got into my early teens I cut her out of my life. It wasn't until I graduated from high school that I gave our friendship another shot. Everything was great until she got married and got on her high horse again. She pretty much got pissed at me over a sarcastic Facebook status(that had nothing to do with her) and suddenly I was called a loser, that I was unmarried and living with my mom ( I had lived with a now ex-boyfriend for three years...lol...not to mention I'm in my 20s, I'm not ready for marriage), and I shouldn't even bother pursuing my career. I pretty much cut ties with her right then and there XD..according to other friends of mine she had been talking behind my back and tried to start drama with another friend of mine.

ex-friend #3: was an internet buddy but someone I had trusted dearly. We had a great roleplay going on. We had great conversations etc. Things took a turn for the worst late last year. Everytime I brought up how I felt about a current event I was told to "stop whining" and I had to put up with snide remarks here and there that came out of nowhere. I opened a donation pool and she left a shitty comment about how she'd rather help out the people in Japan or people who need it ( with points, really? lol) and then I made the comment on FB that I couldn't stand fanfiction and jumped down my throat........I ended up cutting her off too. I was tired of her abuse and no longer being able to talk to her without getting into a fight. I also got tired of being the one to constantly keep the RP moving with plot ideas, constantly buying commissions of our RP scenes on a very tight budget without her helping, and I pretty much got tired of her abuse as I said before.



tl;dr: you can only put up with so much bullshit until you finally snap and finally you just have to realize that some people won't get along with you and most likely because of your personality traits or opinions. It goes both ways to be honest. But abuse and name-calling and friends who are two-faced should never be "put up with."

i often get way too close with people, and they usually end up leaving or not caring nearly as much as i do and idk. i get how you feel, sort of, even if it's the complete opposite. A lot of times my friends will just drop out of my life, after years of knowing them, and i'm starting to feel like it's my fault, you know? Like no matter what i do or how hard i try, they'll end up getting bored and leaving, anyways. i think friend problems like this happen often, but it still feels horrible every time.

But don't worry, we're all here with an open ear if you need to talk about these sort of things, or even just chat (:

Do any of you know what it's like, attracting self-destructive people? It's like standing next to a black hole, you know. Takes and takes but never gives while at the same time threatening to suck you in and tear you up. And it doesn't give a shit either.

I worry that I might BE that person. Not even intentionally either, just... I dunno. That's why I quarantine myself from others. Probably why I don't have more than a couple of friends I still talk to. I think friendship is a two-way street, and I'd rather not waste people's time and investment in me if I'm really not willing to meet them halfway.

Or maybe I'm not a dick, but I just remember it that way because I'm self-loathing... Either-or.

I'm a military brat as well (or well, former I guess, now that I'm in college). Six elementary schools, then a new middle school, where by a weird military mix-up we stay until I graduate high school. I meet the person who is today my best friend. But just because you're friends doesn't mean you're always great with each other. There were a few years in high school, where despite the fact that we saw each other everyday, it was really only because of class and the fact that we were both working in the theatre. We never yelled at each other, never even really had any fights. Maybe we snapped at each other during work, but nothing major. I denied it all was happening. My mother remarked on it years later, so I must have said something at home, and even then I could remember people asking me if we were friends again, wherein I would reply that we had never not been friends. My point with this is that we got over it. We just dropped it and forgot about it and moved on. We went to different schools, so no, we don't see each other a lot, but we check in every few months and I see her maybe once or twice a year. And she's still my best friend. I think (outside of family) she knows me better than anyone. However, I had lots of other friends, a few almost as close as her, who I have not kept in touch with nearly as much. People who I never had problems with at all, people who I would love to still be friends with, and could still hold a good conversation with, but I don't know if we'll ever see/be close again.

My point of telling you this: not everyone is going to stick around, and that's okay. Every time I moved growing up, my first mission upon starting school was to find a new best friend, preferably one who was well established, so that I could become friends with all their friends by proxy. Well wishes and all that, but I've never seen most of them again. I never started to expand my circle/number of friends until I had been in one place for more than three years. But now, looking back, I'm okay with it. I was friends with a lot of people in high school, people I would still have a happy hello for, but I have retained only a few friends. But it's okay, because I made new friends at college, and they keep me going at school, and when I have life startling doubts or need a shoulder to cry on, or need to tell someone how beautiful it is outside and not have them shake their head at how weird I am, I have a few of those old friends.

I know you can get invested in people, but we have to learn that we can't take everyone with us, relationships will end, but it's okay, because we take what we learned from each person with us. And, okay, that sounded very deep and kinda cheesy, but I think it's true. Idk, go see Wicked if you can, all this stuff is in there.

Hm... I know how you feel. More or less. And yeah, I know that black hole feeling well. I've cut some ties for that, too. Right now I feel as if I'm the only one with any SENSE around. I'm really not trying to force feed you my problems, but I had an old friend who slowly became more and more bitchy and nasty and cruel. She hurt her closest friend to the point where she walked away, and then the first girl became all-consumed in getting her back. She stepped on everyone around her, used and manipulated them, and pissed us all off over and over. And just this year, I finally stopped forgiving her. Sorry no longer cut it, and I walked off. Now though, the friend she REALLY abused and bullied and scapegoated for no reason is hanging out with her. And I'm slowly becoming more and more isolated, hanging on by my fingernails to the very few solid friendships I have left.

But... the people who have been hurt and KNOW what she's done are forgiving her, and everyone else is so IGNORANT and... UGH! Yeah, my rage bottle is getting closer to the brim every week. *deep breath* Anyways, just so you know, you're not alone, and I know we don't know each other, but if you need to talk or vent, I'll lend an ear. Hope things turn out well for you, dearie.

I have had an experience a lot like that one with a guy that used to be my best friend. And I tend to bottle up my feelings till one day I just explode too. I wonder now because some of the various arguments we had I always felt very in the right, but did I basically ruin all credibility I might have had by reacting in that explode-y way that I just cannot control. Over a span of like 3 years we'd have a blow out and not talk to each other for months and then come crawling back (maybe it was just me) because I remembered how fun it was once and I wanted that back again but it was never the same after the first argument. He's taken a few mutual friends with him by default of him talking to them more than I do.

Now its my boyfriend that has to occasionally deal with my bursts of pent up frustration. I feel bad that it comes all at once because its so much worse, but at the same time I don't feel like my frustration is uncalled for.

Anyway! All that was to say that I know how you feel